Fear

I envy those who crave and enjoy fear, I once was fallen into that criteria. Horror movies, haunted houses, dark and grimey vibes pulled me towards it. Now I am the complete opposite. Ok maybe not complete but definitely not that way I used to be. I felt like fear has a sense of urgency for me, I never really enjoyed any movie or show if it didn’t contain some sort of horror elements in it.

At the age of 14 I had watched almost every horror movie that was at least somewhat noteworthy to weird obscure Japanese films from the 60s. At that time if I was able to torrent it, I already watched it. Now I’m not saying I only solely watched horror but it needed contain something of the likes, Shaun of the dead. I was obsessed with that movie, there was a time I watched it every day for about 2 months straight. It was a comedy that involved some sort of scary comedic energy, but that neither here or there.

I’m currently going to Salem to stay for a few days with my mother and sister, so knowing me I had to do some research on where to go, which museums to avoid and which to go, food spots, historical parks and etc. Upon looking at a few museums, they irked my nerves, weird I thought. I haven’t been to a museum in a whole but last i went I really had enjoyed it. I’m reading google reviews and I’m seeing people say it’s not worth the money, scammy, rip off, run down attractions and I’m thinking thank fucking god. Cause those mannequins freaked me out.

I still enjoy horror, but after a intense year of bad anxiety attacks I pulled a bit away from horror movies and games. I’d rather be calm then stressed out watching a movie. Anxiety has only been something that has happened to me since my death scare but nevetheless I don’t want to prevent my family from visiting these places, and I also don’t want to wait outside. I just want not to be afraid which sucks considering I didn’t have that fear beforehand, when I was younger.

I hoped on another tab and started google “How to get rid of fear in haunted houses?”. A list of reddit threads showed up to which I read a few of them and I realized they all kind of were oddly comforting each others fears instead of omitting them and growing past it. A non toxic toxic group, moving on. I found this one website where the article was “The Psychology of Scary Movies and Haunted Houses” and it explained that there were studies that showed how high intensity exposure in haunted house and/or scary movies can reflect a less anxious life post exposure. Meaning the more you expose yourself the more calm and less anxious you will become.

Can you guess the first thing I did after reading that? I booted up my steamdeck and started downloading some horror games and in the meanwhile as I waited I came here to write this substack for more people to hear.

I hope if you can relate to give this a shot too, till next time.